Reaching the summit?

For a long time, I’ve had a metaphor in my mind about how it feels to run a small business aiming to change children’s social care. The image is of me rolling a massive boulder up a hill. Progress is slow, it is hard work and I often find it tiring. Even when I rest I have to do so holding the rock in place. At times I feel like I might be reaching the summit, only to see that there is another climb ahead. I sometimes wonder why I’ve taken on this mammoth task, or whether my goals are even possible, but I am stubbornly determined that now I’m so far up the hill I don’t want to give it up. Maybe that is about sunk cost. But I’ve chipped off the worst of the bumps from the rock and got my rolling technique worked out, so I keep telling myself that if anyone can get this thing to the top of the hill, I can. Over the years of my journey I’ve tried to encourage other people to help me to push, so I am not bearing all the weight, but whilst I’ve had good company at times and plenty of encouragement, it has always seemed like the task is mine alone. That has been reinforced by numerous people telling me how I’m uniquely skilled at rock-rolling, even though I know that I was no better than many other people at the start of my journey. In fact I’m pretty sure anyone with some pretty basic skills who rolled a rock for this long could be standing in my shoes.

Of course, that bypasses the fact that I had to be willing to spend a lot of time on this, be resilient in the face of obstacles, and give up other easier opportunities to stick with it. And the fact I had the intellectual, social and personal characteristics to work out how to do this, choose a viable route and make improvements along the way. And it also omits to mention that had I known the real scope of the task would take me over a decade I might not have taken it on at the beginning. On the other hand, perhaps the fact it was difficult enough for nobody else to take on was why I did it. I think those who know me might point out it isn’t the first time I’ve jumped in at the deep end, and that I don’t do things in half measures. I don’t like taking the easy route in life, and if I set myself a challenge I like doing the task properly. I’ve always thought about what I can do to make the most impact, rather than to have the easiest life or earn the most money. I prefer to cut my own path, than to take one that is already well-trodden, and to find a way to enjoy the challenges of the journey.

So here I am, pushing my boulder and feeling like I’ve come quite a long way over the years. I might be deluding myself, but the gradient appears less steep these days. In fact, it feels tantalisingly close to reaching level ground, and I am starting to imagine what it might be like to roll my boulder down the other side of the hill. I’m trying not to be complacent that I’ve reached a point at which the boulder is stable enough not to roll back the way we came up, but people are starting to talk about how this boulder is not just on the level, but given one more push might gain enough momentum to create a landslide that will divert the river to irrigate the lands the local population need to farm. That would be beyond my wildest dreams. I mean, the motivation behind all this is to improve the lives of people who are having a tough time, but to think that it could have impact on the scale some people are now anticipating is mind-blowing. That would mean my big gamble of investing so much time and effort into this project could pay off in terms of impact. In a way that’s the great thing about indirect interventions – that they can make change that ripples out on a much bigger scale. In my boulder metaphor I’m trying to make change not by trying to teach them new farming skills one by one, but by trying to address some of the systemic barriers that impair their life chances, so that they have the opportunity to find their own ways to thrive.

So this blog is a marker of me standing at what I hope might be the top of the hill, and crossing my fingers the gaining momentum part happens. The mixture of hope and uncertainty is stressful to balance. When it’s a bit more concrete I’ll write a bit more, and hopefully I’ll not need a metaphor to couch my cautious optimism in, and can tell you about the actual project and the steps I’ve taken to progress it.

Tipping points (an unusually optimistic blog about entrepreneurship in delivering psychology)

This is a really exciting month for my business. Things are seemingly reaching a tipping point at which all the effort I have put in to date is starting to pay dividends. Even some things I had given up hope on have come back in a more optimistic way.

1) I’ve been short-listed for a grant, in which I can pilot my care pathway for LAC in a new county, scope the level of need, validate my measure and find out whether my system is effective in causing positive change for young people in Care. I’ve just got to get the full application completed by next week, and get the signatures from health, social care and commissioning in that locality onto the form before the deadline. No problem. Well, actually quite a big problem, judging by the initial application where getting signatures on it in time turned out to be a total nightmare. But worth a stab nonetheless.

2) I’ve been contacted by a social impact investment fund who may want to fund a scaled up version of the diabetes project that I blogged about so bitterly here. (If you remember, it was a pilot of brief psychological interventions for people with diabetes, and we found that it more than covered its own costs in savings from physical health treatment costs within the 12 months of the study. I was immensely frustrated that it wasn’t commissioned after the pilot year and I had long since given up on reviving it). It is unclear what they are planning, but they may want to fund us to deliver the project again, perhaps on a larger scale either geographically or in terms of including other long-term health conditions such as cancer, which would be pretty exciting.

3) As if that isn’t enough, I’ve got a new little venture starting up. Its an internet based business, that has already attracted interest from a venture capitalist who likes seed funding projects from idea to proof of concept. Not something I’ll be delivering personally, or directly related to CP, but nonetheless pretty exciting.

Everything else is ticking over nicely. The therapy service we run at LifePsychol is now full to capacity, and profitable enough to consider taking on another member of staff. I’ve got a contract with Keys that takes just over half my working time, delivering training and rolling out the BERRI as part of a change to the training, culture and care pathways across their residential provision. And we are suddenly getting lots of enquiries and sign-ups to the BERRI from other organisations, and several other psychologists I know professionally are recommending it for work they are doing.

On top of that I’m getting free business development coaching from Shawn Jhanji, who is a really supportive and inspiring guy, as part of winning a place on the Impact Hub scaling program (I’m one of 10 small UK businesses focused on making a positive difference to the world that are getting a year of support to enable growth and expansion into new markets, as part of an international cohort of 100). And before that I had personal development coaching from Andy Gill, who was also awesome. I can genuinely say that I couldn’t have made this happen without them. My investment in personal development coaching over the past 18 months has made a tremendous difference to my clarity of goals and the way I want to work to achieve them. It’s been revolutionary in terms of changing my perception of myself and the impact I can make on the world.

Other positive things are also happening all at once too. I’ve had 2 professional publications appear in the last month – a paper on running a social enterprise in Clinical Psychology Forum, a chapter in What good looks like in psychological services for children, young people and their families. The NICE guidance I was part of developing and the practise standards for psychologists working as experts into the family courts are also nearing publication. This means I’ve been able to step down from various committees and unpaid commitments feeling that I’ve done my share of the bigger picture stuff. Finally, I’ve nearly caught up on my invoicing and have made a concerted effort to chase some of the unpaid invoices that are overdue.

Basically, everything is falling into place with my new line of work, and past work is starting to pay dividends. So rather than feeling small, isolated and just about able to make ends meet to run the business, it now feels like the future is much more likely to be secure. This has let me stop taking new instructions for the emotionally intense and time/energy demanding court work that was making me feel so burnt out.

Hopefully pretty soon, I’ll have some time to focus on home stuff – which is good because we are supposed to be moving house by the end of the year!

All of this change has made me feel much more optimistic. Instead of feeling like I’m thanklessly hacking away at the rock face alone, I’ve got to a point where other people can see the value of joining in with what I am doing, and bringing machinery and tools to help. It is by no means inevitable that I’ll be able to achieve my goals yet, but I’m starting to feel more optimistic. And that has given me much more energy and enthusiasm, which is contagious in itself. I’ve got this feeling of travelling beyond territory I know into the unfamiliar. Who knows where it will take me, but I’m enjoying the adventure.